How I got here and where I'm going

 Hello.

I wasn't always ill, you know ;)

Up until late 2006 I considered myself to be fairly healthy, despite having an underactive thyroid and asthma. I worked hard and played hard, enjoyed lots of gigs, trips and holidays and had a lust for life. I loved walking, dancing and going out with my friends.

It started with silly things really, a sore throat every morning, finding it harder and harder to get out of bed (especially on those dark winter days) and increasing tiredness. 

SPREAD TOO THIN

I'll admit I was under a huge amount of stress in my job at the time, because for 9 months before I finally walked out, I'd been doing 2 people's jobs. I was busy enough with my 40 hour week before I got landed with another job role worth 30 hours work a week. Soon enough I was totally and utterly swamped. Getting away from my desk was virtually impossible. I remember coming home from work on several occasions, crawling into bed fully clothed, pulling the duvet over my head and just sobbing. I never cooked, and lived off sandwiches, if I ate at all. Soon, my walks to and from the station (1.5 miles each way) seemed like a thousand miles, and more days than not I'd get a cab home as I was so wiped out. Feeding and cleaning myself seemed like too.much.effort.

Then I got assaulted at work and I began to unravel. I tried to hand my notice in and was talked out of it, but one day when dealing with just another in a long line of arseholes, I walked out in January 2008 and never went back.

CONTRIBUTING FACTORS?

From my research into Fibromyalgia and CFS over the last few years I've read that sometimes the two complaints come about after a virus, or flu-like symptoms. I had  pneumonia in late 2006/early 2007. Pneumonia is a virus. By September 2007 I was no longer able to ignore the symptoms.

The two conditions can also come about after trauma, especially to the back and neck. Before senior school age I'd fallen down a flight of concrete stairs and landed heavily on the floor, leading to temporary paralysis and about 18 months of severe back pain. Then when I was 14-15, I got run over by a Ford Transit van. The wing mirror hit me in the head, I pirouetted like a sleepy ballerina along the side of the van (according to my mate who was there) and landed on the deck unconscious. Cue head injuries, concussion and nerve damage to my face and leg.

Also, having had thyroid disease for over 10 years pre-disposed me to getting further autoimmune conditions, as thyroid disease is autoimmune, and autoimmune illnesses get lonely and want friends.

Also, I'm a type A personality. I hold myself up to impossibly high standards. I always worked like my very life depended on it in every job I did. I worked hideous shift patterns. I put my body through hell. I always put myself last. Always.

UNEMPLOYMENT & PAIN

After leaving my job so dramatically (so unlike me with my work ethic and stupid loyalty) we eked out my last pay cheque and then I started to apply for jobs, but I knew something still wasn't right. A couple of months after I left work, I started doing voluntary work to give my days some structure.

In April, on my birthday day out in Brighton, the first real pain symptom started, and it's one which persists to this day - the inability to lift my feet off the floor without severe pain (it seems to stem from the muscular issue which starts at the backs of my legs just under my bum). It comes and goes, thankfully. Sometimes it'll come on after I've walked 5 metres, sometimes after I've walked a couple of miles, and sometimes - like today - I wake up with it. Also, that birthday night I had a massive night sweat which drenched the bed, and the facial rash also appeared. 

It's very sore, red hot and annoying.

2008-2011 THE WILDERNESS YEARS

I first went to a doctor in 2008 about the things that were happening to me, and I had months of tests at the hospital. No complaints with the NHS there. Aside from a load of hinky blood tests and a suspicion of Sarcoidosis from my then-GP, there were no real indications of what was wrong. These were horrible, horrible times. I KNEW I was ill, but most people doubted me. Many probably thought I was just a fat, lazy cow. One doctor virtually told me as much. I got depressed, very depressed.

EUREKA!

After my ectopic pregnancy in January, I had a small amount of time without too many symptoms of my lurgy (due to the pregnancy hormones, I expect) and afterwards when everything came flooding back, it made me realise how much crap I'd been putting up with. I went to see a lady doctor at the surgery who referred me back to the hospital. Luck was with me this time, as I got a specialist who saw me as a person, not a BMI.  

This bit is crucial - I'd been keeping notes of all my symptoms for months, so instead of trying to remember everything at my appointments I would hand the piece of paper over. 

This time, it worked!

CONCLUSION

If you - or someone you know - is ill and not getting anywhere, here are my tips:

1. Change doctors if you're not getting anywhere. I had to see 3 GPs and endless locums before I got diagnosed. Doctors are just like people - some are compassionate, some are awful.
2. Keep notes. If you're ill and you have a lot going on, you're going to forget (potentially) crucial points. Keeping notes will remind you of symptoms and could help your diagnosis.
3. Surround yourself with people who support you. Excise those who doubt you like you would a cancer. Life's too damn short to live surrounded by shitty people!
4. Keep the faith. It's easier said than done, admittedly. If you get depressed, get help, it will make everything else a tiny bit easier overall. 
5. Trust in yourself. If you KNOW you're not right, fight like a tiger until you get the help you deserve. Your supporters will get you through.
6. Never be afraid to share your experiences with people. After I did I found lots of people who were suffering in silence or who were ill and I had no idea. There will always be an idiot who takes the piss out of the suffering of other people, but on the whole most people are wonderful.

Now I'm diagnosed I have a starting point to go from.

It's been 4 long years, and now I have nothing to fight for it feels a bit weird. I'm sure I'll soon adjust! ;)

Life begins again now! 

(Just very, very gently, with a minimum of stress, and lots of bubblewrap to protect me from my accidents).

Thanks for reading. 

DIAGNOSED! Whoo!

 Hi.

After 4 years of uncertainty and self-doubt I've finally been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome FO' SHO'.

You can hear about what Fibromyalgia feels like here.

You can hear what CFS feels like here. Having CFS at its worse has been said by many doctors to be as debilitating as end-stage HIV or cancer.

I last saw my specialist about 3 months ago and he thought I had Fibro & CFS but I was left hanging after having a load more tests and X Rays to see if that was actually the case. I wrote to my specialist at the end of last week and he called me today. 

He said I *do* have Fibro and CFS and possibly a touch of Sarcoidosis, although mainly asymptomatic, as it doesn't show up in any tests.

In a strange way, it's a relief to give this thing a name finally. 

Hopefully now I will start to treat myself a bit more gently and get on top of these horrible fatigue episodes and accidents. 

Hugs to any readers who have an invisible illness.

Thanks for reading.

Aldi Lacura Moisturisers - Bargain!

Hiya. 

My friends have just moved into a new flat near an Aldi store, so I popped in to get some more moisturiser as mine had *just* run out. I was in a bit of a hurry as we were going out for a meal so I just kinda grabbed, paid and ran without looking at what I had.

All pics are clicky-click for larger looksies!

Luckily the night cream I grabbed was for mature skin, as the day moisturiser was for all skin types. They do do a day moisturiser for ragged old ladies like me, so next time I pop in I'll be sure to get the right one.

The day cream is a thick but quickly absorbing day cream with a fresh scent. It does feel a tiny bit greasy as it goes on but only for a moment until it sinks in - and for dry old birds like me it's well needed moisture. 

In the leaflet that comes in the box it says it's SPF 6. It's £1.99 for 50 ml and comes in a sturdy, heavyweight glass pot.

Let me say this moisturiser is AMAZEBALLS!

This cream is the only thing I've found in 3+ years of searching to quench my autoimmune-disease riddled skin. It's a thick, thick, thick cream. After using it for one night I got up the next day, looked in the mirror and went 'Wow!'

Previously, the skin on my forehead was so dry that if I scratched there, it looked like I had forehead dandruff. Gross.

It sinks in after a few minutes (if I take my make up off and put it on before I clean my teeth I'm all good) and still leaves me feeling fairly moisturised the next morning. It's also scented. It smells different to the day cream, but I expect if I'd picked up the mature skin day moisturiser it would've smelled the same as this. It's not unpleasant to me anyway, and once it's smeared all over my face I can't smell it anyway! 

It's too early to tell if it's going to make my wrinkles disappear and give me a face like a baby's bum (minus the crack) but so far it's looking good!

Again, it's £1.99 for 50 ml and comes in a sturdy, heavyweight glass pot.

Have you tried Lacura moisturisers?

If so, what did you think?

For £2 each you've got nothing to lose.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I recently found out Aldi don't test on animals. Bonus!

e.l.f. Eyelid Primer Collection and matte lip colours swatched

 Hello.

When e.l.f. were doing their Matte Lip Colours for £1 each instead of £3.50 each a couple of weeks ago I got all 4 and the primer collection of 3 different eyelid primers as well.

I've used Urban Decay Primer Potion for years, but it has always made my eyes water like mad, and made my eyes itch like really bad hayfever does. The e.l.f. primer in shade 'Sheer' I've already been using for months is brilliant - my eyeshadow sticks to it like glue and there's no irritation at all! I can't rave on about it enough, honestly. It's about a 10th of the price of UDPP, works so much better for me and lasts ages. The tiniest bit goes a long way and my eyeshadow lasts ALL day long until I wipe it off at the end of the day. The one I've been using is available to buy on its own here for £1.50 for 5g or you get 2.6g of it and 2.6g of Champagne and Pearl in the set for £3.50.

All pics are clicky click for larger images. 

L-R Sheer, Champagne and Pearl

Sheer is non-sparkly but Champagne and Pearl are glitzy

This blurry one was the best way to capture the sparkle in Champagne and Pearl

There's a cool writing pad theme to the packaging

I have actually yet to use Champagne and Pearl, and if I'm not leaving the house much this weekend I'll use one on each eye with the same eyeshadow to see what difference it makes! ;)

The matte lip colours last ages because of their matte finish, but don't make it past much eating and drinking with me. They go on smooth, don't drag at all, aren't drying on my not-very-well moisturised lips and are twist-up, but they do have a sharpener in the end, which seems a bit unnecessary (the coloured little bit on the end pulls off). Shit balls, I forgot to take a picture of that. I will come back and edit and add a piccy of that.

You can see me wearing Tea Rose in this pic:

I've worn all 4 shades now and like them all except Praline, which is way too brown.

So I owe you 3 lip swatches of the other colours, coming up soon!

Also posts coming up sooner than soon about:

Love those shadows! 2 VIVO from Tesco eyeshadow trios

Face creams from Aldi

Have a great weekend!

Thanks for reading.

Some favourite things of mine

MEMENTO

I might not look at them very often, but it's soothing to know my photos and memories are just a stretch of the arm away.

PERSON

It has to be J. 

I had a hideous migraine today but when he came home from work he made me laugh so hard it cleared up slightly somehow. He kept stopping dead still suddenly and pulling a silly face with his eyes out on stalks like a startled meerkat. It's hard to describe, but since he won't let me take a photo of him doing it, that'll have to do. 

PLACE

Bed.

Ours is very similar to this. King sized and lovely.

TV SHOW

 Call me sad, but I love Home and Away!

An ever evolving cast, brilliant scripts and some serious hotties mean I look forward to seeing H&A every week day.

Said hotties (not including the one on the left who is just a boy!)

Hell yeah!

ESCAPE

I love to read. There's nothing better than getting lost with my head in a brilliant book.

ARTIST

I like my art on the canvas of skin.

My favourite artist is my tattoo artist!

ADDICTION

Bejeweled Blitz. I play it on Facebook. It's so addictive, even though I'm distinctly average at it.

SCENT

I love this perfume so much.

From Dior:

The top note is the first olfactory impression and the most volatile.
The heart note is the fragrance's core and lasts for several hours.
The base note lasts the longest and can be perceived in clothing for several months. 

I get so many compliments on this perfume when I wear it, but I always run out as it's so yummy.

What are your faves?

Finally, I've cleared the clutter off my coffee table, and once I charge my SLR battery expect some FOTDs, a couple of VIVO from Tesco eyeshadow trios, Aldi face creams, some more Sue Moxley Famous bits, some e.l.f. stuff......yep, I'm going to have my hands full!

Thanks for reading.

Some random facts and some recent photos

 Hello.

I feel like I should entitle all blogs at the moment with 'a mixed bag' as that's what they are.

I've been trying to get healthier so on Thursday I decided to walk into town to meet my friends. Sounds harmless, yes? It's about a 2.5 mile walk. Usually I take cabs as walking a long distance leaves me in a sorry state, but I'm ever hopeful that the health fairy will waft me back into healthiness suddenly! I felt fine at the time. 

I didn't feel so fine the day after, nor today, unfortunately. I don't want this blog to be one big rant about autoimmune illness - believe it or not, I do my own head in talking about all matters health! All I will say is, I've had another reminder about what is on the 'can do' list and what is on the 'no way' list. Going for a gentle stroll in the woods is something I can do, but walking on concrete is too high impact for my poor joints. I'm not going to bore you with the list of places I have pain in, suffice it to say I'm being a very naughty girl and mixing alcomahol with painkillers in an attempt to stop my left arm feeling like it's been trapped in a lift door while my body is 3 floors up. 

---

Here are some random facts.

1. When I was a small child someone dropped a breeze block on my head. It broke in half. My head did not, although I had some almighty lump come up ;)

2. There's a dress sitting in my wardrobe which I haven't worn since January. I wore it the day I told my dad I was pregnant. I remember rubbing my tummy as I told him. I can't bear to wear it again. I gave it to charity, eventually.

3. I love to sing. Love, love, love. I'm sure other people do not love to listen! I have a feeling I'm tone death, but still......singing is an almighty release for me.

4. Talking of singing, I hear songs (real songs) in my dreams and often sing a song all morning after I've dreamed about it. 

5. Before the age of 15 I had twice grown my hair down to my waist and cut it off to a bob. I'm trying to grow my hair as close to waist length as possible before the wedding, but damn thyroid disease makes my hair grow like pubes! Ha! It affects the condition, thickness and sleekness of my hair.

6. When I was an infant someone dropped me from a height. For some reason I had my tongue out, and I basically landed on the edge of a chair, with my tongue out, and bit kinda halfway through my tongue. Apparently they shoved my mouth full of ice cubes to numb it. I never went to hospital. People were well hard in those days! You can see a line on my tongue to this day. Yuk!

7. When I was a youngster I wanted to be an author. Maybe one day I'll try ;)

8. I love the Twilight films and books. I'm sure this makes me all kinds of sad, but I find them to be pure escapism, and I like to escape real life once in a while. Who wouldn't to be Bella Swan and have two guys fight over her?!

9. My mum is 4 ft 8 inches tall and my dad is 5 ft 11! I come in halfway at 5 ft 5 and a half. That half inch counts :) 

10. I want to do a road trip around the USA so badly, maybe in my retirement! I want to take at least a few months in an RV. Bliss!

---

Something which never fails to make me feel better is slapping on the... err... slap and taking a few photos. It's a no-brainer. Feel shit but look good? Suddenly you no longer feel shit. Makeup is my therapy. Some people might meditate knees crossed on the floor, but I do my 'meditating' in front of the mirror as I make up. It soothes me.

I had my hair cut today as well. 

Pics are click-able for larger ones, as ever.

My new ASOS dress

I'm wearing the Sue Moxley Famous quad palette in Shooting Star and their lipgloss in Pink Sizzle.

What are you up to this weekend? If it stops raining we hope to go for another walk in the woods tomorrow.

Have a great Sunday, whatever you do!

Thanks for reading. 

Thoughts - a mixed bag

Hiya.

Trolls.

I've been thinking about trolls on the internet since last night, when someone said something breathtakingly callous on Twitter. I have 2 accounts, and I'm not going to say which one it was on, or what it was about, but it set me to thinking. Then this evening on the news I heard about a 25 year old man who was jailed for 18 weeks (it should have been 18 months!) for repeatedly posting disgusting comments and videos on the Facebook memorial pages for four dead teenagers. Four dead children. 

As if the four sets of parents didn't have enough grief! Fair play to the police for starting to take these cyber crimes seriously, as the relative anonymity of the internet seems to strip certain people of their humanity - if they had any to begin with.

---

I had to laugh when I read an article on the Daily Mail this morning about my favourite piece of man-meat Jason Momoa. Truly, the DM is not a credible source of news about anything, as they have a serious agenda, hate women with a passion and can barely spell, let alone string a sentence together, but for some unfathomable reason I keep going back.

The thing which made me laugh was the comments on the piece. It was a few pictures of J-Mo at the beach with his wife, with his wet hair swept back, in board shorts, looking ripped. Half of the men said he had to be on steroids to look like that. Male envy! Some of the women said his wife Lisa Bonet is fat (pffft - female envy!) and the rest all agreed he is quite divine. I felt like saying 'Oi, hands off!' I've been madly in lust with Mr Momoa since I saw him in Stargate Atlantis, way back in about 2006.

He's garnered rave reviews for his performance of Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones, which was divine, even though he barely spoke, and is now starring in the big-budget reboot of Conan, which hasn't received the best reviews, but unusually it's the dialogue, writer and 3D which seem to be in for the most stick. I *would* go to see it if I was able, but none of the local cinemas are showing it. Humbug! There's always DVD!

---

 As the nights draw in and the rain comes down in sheets my thoughts turn to Halloween and Christmas. I'm ready for a change. The crisper, cooler air will make my asthma improve, and as J and I have been going for 2 hour walks on Saturdays and Sundays, I look forward to doing so with a little less heat.

What do you like about the cooler months?

Thanks for reading.

Spartacus Blood and Sand actor Andy Whitfield dies

You may know I'm a bit of a geek. I love my sci-fi, fantasy and geekery!

I loved Spartacus Blood and Sand. It was a wonderful series full of shagging and fighting!

Here's a little clip:

 The leading actor, Andy Whitfield, who was born in Wales, died yesterday aged just 39 years old, after an 18 month battle with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.

I was a bit non-plussed when Spartacus Gods of the Arena started, as there was no Spartacus. Now I know why :(

From MTV:

Whitfield was born in Wales, but made his home in Australia, where he first came to attention after stints in a number TV shows, including "All Saints" and "Packed to the Rafters." The sometime model had his biggest breakthrough, though, when he was cast in the Starz series "Spartacus: Blood and Sand," in which he played the title role of a soldier who leads a rebellion against the Roman Empire. The series was an instant hit thanks to his turn in the classic role that had previously been filled by such screen icons as Kirk Douglas.

After his diagnosis last March, Whitfield began to undergo treatment in New Zealand, which led to the delay of the second season of the show and the filming of a six-part prequel, "Spartacus: Gods of the Arena," for which he provided some voiceover work. He was initially declared cancer-free a few months after treatment, but suffered a relapse later in the year that forced him to abandon the role, which was recast. 

His wife, Vashti, issued a statement on Sunday confirming his death. "On a beautiful sunny Sydney morning, surrounded by his family, in the arms of his wife, our beautiful young warrior Andy Whitfield lost his 18-month battle with lymphoma cancer ... he passed peacefully surrounded by love," the statement said. "Thank you to all his fans whose love and support have helped carry him to this point. He will be remembered as the inspiring, courageous and gentle man, father and husband he was."

I only became aware of Andy Whitfield because of Spartacus Blood and Sand but he was a brilliant actor, and one who I looked forward to seeing thrive in the future. Evil cancer has taken another wonderful talent far, far too soon. My condolences to his wife and children. 

R.I.P.

Thanks for reading.

New photos, new make up and the stinkiest mascara EVER!

Hiya lovelies!

I hope you're having a great weekend? I've been on 2 long walks with the fella this weekend. I haven't weighed myself but it's becoming apparent that what I'm doing is working. I tried on a top which I bought about this time last year and at that time it was skin tight. I put it on yesterday and there's room in it! Wahooooo!

Because I'm liking what I see in the mirror at the moment I'm constantly gazing into the mirror in wonderment.  Cheekbones are reappearing and I'm loving making up this 'new' face of mine! Vanity!

Here are some recent face shots!

Check out my leopard print loo seat!

 POSER!

I'm wearing the e.l.f. Tea Rose shade I mention below

When e.l.f. were doing their Matte Lip Colours for a quid each last week (instead of £3.50 each) I bought all 4. Tea Rose is a shade that is to.die.for. and I think I'll be wearing a similar colour as I sashay down the aisle. I'm wearing it in the shots above. I also picked up the 3 piece Eyelid Primer Collection in Nude, Pearl and Champagne. I haven't tried the other 3 matte colours or the primers yet (I already have their £1.50 eyelid primer and love it above all else, yes, even above UDPP!) but when I do I shall take some piccies and give a review. From the wear I've had of the Tea Rose shade so far I can say it isn't too drying, is fairly long lasting for me (a couple of hours) but doesn't really make it past food and drink time. Anyway, it gives me another chance to look in the mirror when I need to reapply! :) I can't feel it on my lips and the shade is so flattering I'm not overly bothered with it making my lips look a teeny bit like a wrinkled up ol' concertina! 

I picked up the new Maybelline Cat Eyes mascara last weekend and oh.my.God. 

It REEKS! 

It mings. It's utterly repulsive! What are they putting in it to make it smell like a chemical plant? I'm seriously wary of using it as I worry what the hell is in it. It's OK (just OK, not great) on. It's not as good as the mascaras I prefer (360 lash by Boots No 7, 2000 Calorie or Masterpiece mascaras by Max Factor, Urban Decay Skyscraper Mascara) in that it makes them look a bit spidery - I'm very lucky to have naturally long and curly lashes already so I don't need much. It's a very rare day if I do 2 coats of mascara, and I don't normally get that Tammy Faye Bakker look.

I must say I've never used a Maybelline mascara before - on principle I try to never buy a product where they use so much bullshit and Photoshop in their adverts (when they say 'Maybe it's Maybelline' in that sing-song voice, I sing back 'Maybe it's bu-ul-shiiiiiiit!')

Do their mascaras normally smell like an explosion in a chemistry lab? Damn me for buying it just because I'm a sucker for leopard print! (And you know it, you've seen my loo seat now!) Bwahahaha!

Here is a pic of me in the woods yesterday.

Have a great start to the week!

Thanks for reading.

Redder hair and some make up photos

Hi.

I applied more henna on Sunday, trying something a little different to make it more vibrant than usual.

I have a stinker of a cold so J is bringing home cold and flu capsules, honey, lemons and CHOCOLATE. Love that man! I'm not sure how it's humanly possible to be so snot-filled. Yuk.

I took some photos of myself yesterday and will post them now to cheer myself up as I look a little like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer today! I'm reluctant to call it a FOTD (face of the day) as it only took 5 minutes, I didn't put much effort in at all AND my skin is covered in a breakout and I had to use the Paint Shop Pro blemish erase tool to hide it. So really, you won't be seeing any macro close ups, ha! Plus my eyebrows are a bit higgledy piggledy, but you get the drift. EDIT - Thank goodness I grew my eyebrows back in late 2011.

I used the Sue Moxley Famous quad in Cafe Culture (below), Boots No7 Mineral Perfection powder foundation, Sleek MakeUP Dip It liquid eyeliner, Boots No 7 360 mascara and a sheer red Barbara Daly lipgloss (from Tesco).  

1st colour (L-R) used in my inner corners, 2nd colour used all over and 3rd colour used in my crease. I wish I knew what those bloomin' colours are called!

All pics are click-able for larger images.

To show off how red my hair is

Ta da. I used flash (like an eejit) and it's washed the colours out somewhat.

Wrinkles all my own!

You can never see much of my eyelids anyway, as they're hooded

I'm due a hair cut very soon to trim up my ends and sort out my fringe. I can't wait, it's been a LONG time. 

What cheers you up when you feel ill?

I'm going to enjoy my Maltesers later :)

Thanks for reading.

Life stuff - Difficult week (slightly TMI)

Hi.

Today is lazy Sunday. We've been food shopping, I'm going to henna my hair later then catch up on blogs. 

First I want to talk about this week and what it's meant to me, because writing things down helps me to process them.

On Friday I had the first gynae procedure to try to work out why my periods have been hinky (I so love that word, thank you America!) since January, when I had my second ectopic pregnancy and surgery to remove my fallopian tube. There's irregularity, bleeding at all stages of the month, a scary level of bleeding at period time (bleeding through 2 super absorbency towels on top of one another per hour at the worst - thank God my sofa is leather!) which causes anaemia and I also have loads of problems with my bladder and bowel near period time. 

I had a camera passed through my cervix into my womb to have a look to see if there were any nasties in there like polyps, fibroids or mild endometriosis. They filled my womb with saline to make sure they could see everything clearly. All looked good. I even saw where my remaining fallopian tube is. It was like looking inside a watering can and seeing where the spout goes! :) 

It was slightly uncomfortable but the nurse and the lady passing the camera up my chuff couldn't have been nicer. They were a real credit to the NHS. It went a lot better than I was expecting, to be honest. I took a Diazepam beforehand so I was well relaxed, to say the least.

I have a trans-uterine scan booked for Monday week. I've had this procedure twice before, one with each ectopic pregnancy. It's a wand like a light sabre which goes where the sun doesn't shine. It's an ultrasound so they'll be able to see if I have anything like polycystic ovaries and have a good look around my innards.

After that scan I have to see the consultant again and discuss the findings.

Then yesterday was the date that I was given when I was pregnant of my estimated due date, so that was a very dreaded day. I'd planned a packed day to take my mind off things. We went to see the Inbetweeners film (which was reasonably funny but too full of fat jokes for my liking), went to Rye to have fish and chips and I also sneaked into Superdrug and bought a couple of bits. 

It was a nice day and it did take my mind off things. Obviously, every time September 3rd comes round I'm going to feel a bit sad, but *hopefully* this first time was the worst. I expect many people who've had miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies or still births will have their own 'special days' to commemorate how they see fit.

Because this week was so stressful I've had an awful break out of spots. Ye gads, I'm 37, not 17! Out with the tea tree facial wash :)

Right, I'm off to slap henna on my head and wrap it in an old carrier bag to stew afterwards.

What was your week like? Highs and lows?

My high was putting a top on that was skin tight under 2 months ago and finding there are a few spare inches in it now ;)

Thanks for reading.

Sue Moxley Swatches - Pic Heavy...

...and one MUA swatch too :)

Pink Pop is a hot pink with subtler shimmer than the other two shades.

Iced Shimmer is a rosy pink with loads of glitter.

Pink Sizzle is a peachy pink with loads of glitter.

None of the 3 are scented. If I was paying £4 each for these I'd expect some kind of scent, but none is better than something horrid, and at £2 each, I can't complain.

All pics are clicky-click for larger images.

No flash

Flash

The first two shades (L & middle) of the trio are lovely, smooth and pigmented. The third one is a bit gritty and disappointing. All swatches done on the back of my hand, 2 swipes, no primer.

No flash

Flash

I'm most impressed by the black in the Shooting Star quad - it's smooth, black as coal and lovely. The other 3 are great too.

No flash

Flash

The Cafe Culture quad is my surprise hit and I might even go back and snag a back up (if there are any left). The taupe (2nd left) is wonderful and the brown/green (R) is just stunning. Love, love, love. Well worth £4.50!

No flash

Flash

The shimmer brick was a bit hard to capture, but after taking umpteen million photos, I got there. I'm not even sure what you're supposed to do with this - is it for eyes, cheeks or both?! I'd use it for both.

No flash

Flash

And finally, the MUA shade.

No flash

Flash

Not bad for £1, eh?

Thanks for reading.