366 Week Eight

Hello, long time no blog. I hope to return to blogging more often once life is a tad less challenging.

Feb 19th

We went for a walk round a church which was built in 1542

Feb 20th

A custom order going out to a customer for a hen party

Feb 21st

My mum sporting a small chocolate moustache

Feb 22nd

The view from a cafe in Hastings

Feb 23rd

We went to Rye for the day

Feb 24th

Another order, this time 'wearing' Dotsandspots.co.uk tape

Feb 25th

A walk around a graveyard, edited in daguerreotype style

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My mum and step dad have been staying with us since last Tuesday so I'm really tired from looking after them. Without trying to sound mean, the Fibromyalgia and CFS make it had to look after myself, let alone anyone else. It's been nice to see my mum having a rest though. It's always stressful having guests to stay, I find, let alone when you have a debilitating illness.

I hope you had a good week. 

What have you got planned for this week?

366 Week Seven

Another week has zoomed by! There are a couple of gross shots of my festering foot in here so please, feel free to skip this post.

Feb 12th

My mum's 3 lava lamps

Feb 13th

Festering foot shot #1

 Feb 14th

My dad came up to see my mum (they're divorced)

Feb 15th

Festering foot shot #2 - it's looking SLIGHTLY better now

Feb 16th

My mum is back in hospital and the strain is getting to me

Feb 17th

I came back home to this pile of post, including my veil for the wedding

Feb 18th

A lovely tea pot in a local store

I hope you had a good week. 

What did you get up to?

Yours Clothing 'Love' leopard print T shirt

When I was at my mum's last week I treated myself to a couple of bits from Yours to cheer myself up.

Here's the best close up of my make up I could get, as I forgot to take my glasses off. I did a cat eye.

I'm trying to love my double chins, as they're a part of me (and they're SO soft!)

I also got a few pairs of funky knickers and a pair of hot pink leggings, photo of those coming up in the next few days.

I hope everyone had a good weekend!

My mum is back in hospital

The reason for my recent lack of posts in the last 2 weeks is because my mum has been really ill.

I didn't do a dedicated post to it, I just mentioned it briefly in a couple of my 366 photo summaries as some of the photos were of my mum and the view from the ward she was on.

Mum had an operation on an incarcerated hernia 2 weeks ago tomorrow. She has an incision about 8 inches long (I thought it was about a foot long but I forget she's only 4ft 8" so there's not a lot of her!) and has been in as much pain as you would expect a person stapled back together would feel.

Yesterday she started to get some new pains, which were agonising. Like a stubborn moo she wouldn't go to the hospital, but booked a doctor's appointment. This morning came around and she couldn't bear it any longer. I called the doctors and got an earlier appointment this morning, but mum couldn't even wait another hour, so we went to A&E.

There may be a long and angry post coming up at some point in the future about the local hospital, but for now I'll move on. We waited for around 2 hours or so and she was sent home with 4 different medications - something for the rampant kidney infection she has, something for trapped wind, something for constipation and codeine pain relief. 

We came in, she took her meds and within half an hour was projectile vomiting. Because she'd felt so awful she hadn't been eating and the meds just came straight back up. She waited about an hour, took one more painkiller, and slept fitfully for a while. Then she woke up with massive pains again, so we rang the doctors and got an emergency appointment. We went down right away. By this time mum was openly howling with pain and crying in the waiting room. She had a long examination with the doctor and came out with a letter which enabled her to be seen immediately by the surgery on call department at A&E at the hospital.

So, back to the hospital we went, stopping in a bus lane halfway there as mum had projectile vomited again.....and I mean projectile. It was on the windscreen, it was all over her and all over the car. Seeing her in so much suffering made me break down. I wanted to call an ambulance there and then but neither my mum nor step dad would consider it since when she went by ambulance to hospital last time, the ambulance driver was an absolute arsehole who did nothing but go on about how someone more needy could have used it. If having an operation to save your life isn't worthy enough, go fuck yourself, frankly, Mr ambulance driver!

Anyway, back to hospital we went, to the conveniently situated (hahahahahahahaha) A&E department which is a mere 10 minute walk from the main hospital entrance at mum's agonising pace. Thus began the ordeal. The waiting room was entirely chock-a-block and heated to about 102 degrees F. The receptionist chose to totally ignore the letter so when (about 2 hours later) mum actually got to see someone, she was told she was supposed to go straight in (fume). There was not enough room to sit in A&E so I alternated between standing there and sitting on an air vent in the hallway for the next 4 hours, as did my step dad. We took it in turns to be with mum. 

She got to a ward at about 8 pm. She's dehydrated, nauseous, in pain and feverish from the UTI so they're going to give her IV fluids and painkillers to see if she feels any better. I think a lot of the pain is down to trapped wind (after my op the trapped wind was far more painful than my 8 inch incision and fallopian tube removal!) because she's not eating. Hopefully if they can sort the nausea, she can get eating, farting and shitting (to be very frank!) and will just be able to get on with the business of healing up from the op, which is enough in itself.

The last 2 weeks have been hard on us all, obviously for mum especially!

Carers, I take my hat off to you. I hadn't realised how little time you get to yourself when you're looking after someone - no time to finish a cuppa, no time to cook, sandwiches curling up at the edges before you get to eat them because it's sod's law that the minute you sit down for a rest, the patient needs something and needs it NOW. I've not even been here a week and I feel at the point of exhaustion. Obviously my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia mean the cards are stacked before I start the game, but damn.....my respect goes to people who do this day in, day out.

I'll be going to see mum tomorrow afternoon and I hope she's feeling loads better by then. Anyone who's nursed a loved one through painful times has my utmost respect, it's almost too much for me to bear to see mum suffering so. I'd rather take the pain myself.

I'm sorry this has been a bit of a depressing post but I had to get it off my chest. Hopefully there'll be some brighter news tomorrow.

Some of my crushes - the men edit

I don't think I've ever done a photo dump of sexy people, so here we are!

My number one man crush of allll time, I give you Mr Jason Momoa.

My number two man crush, Mr Tom Hardy

Ooooooft!

Johnny, but especially as Captain Jack (it's the eyeliner).

Matt Damon

Matt Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold

Viggo Mortensen

It would be remiss of me not to include one of him gussied up as Aragorn.

Hugh Jackman

Peter Facinelli

Nicke Borg from Backyard Babies

Karl Urban

Chris Daughtry from errr Daughtry

Who's on your must-perv list?

The lady edit coming up soooon.

In love with Adele

Did you see Adele's Grammy's make up?!

She looked absolutely amazing! 

Aside from the red lip, that's exactly how I want my wedding make up to be. 

She's absolutely gorgeous!

What do you think of her make up?

In absense of proper posts, here's my face

Here are some photos of my boat race (Cockney rhyming slang for face) taken last week sometime.

Pouting so my top lip doesn't disappear

I really need a hair cut so I can get my fringe and layers trimmed up

Eye baggies

My hair is growing, yay!

Shiny shiny from having a tbsp of coconut oil a day

Once I get home later in the week, hopefully I can get stuck into the enormous pile of make up I have to show you.

Have a great week!

Any plans?

366 Week Six

All pics clickable for larger photos.

Feb 5th

J scraping snow off the car, the view from the hospital, and an action shot on the way home from Kent

Feb 6th

Hershey's on sale in Asda, the snow mountain at Asda, and 1 bag of 3 I donated to charity (continuing on with my 366 of giving away)

Feb 7th

Rheumatologist appointment, a sunset, and my mangled ankle after a double glazed door slammed shut on it

Feb 8th

My make up and a lovely church in town

Feb 9th

Blurry Detrivore make up

 Feb 10th

J playing on his phone

Feb 11th

On our way back to Kent again

How was your week?
Have you had snow?

I hope it was a good one, whatever you did.

From the Mariana Trench to Mount Everest

This week has been one of hideous lows and the highest highs.

In the early hours of last Saturday my mum had emergency surgery as some of you will have read/seen on Facebook. She is now doing well and I'm going to stay with her for a few days from tomorrow. YAY! 

Ill mum is ill

On Tuesday I went to see a rheumatologist who confirmed for once and for all I have Fibromyalgia. He is writing to my GP to suggest some painkillers (I've had no painkillers for Fibro pains and it's been over 4 years now) and an increase in my anti depressants as they ain't cutting the mustard. No mustard is being cut! Good things are a-comin' once my meds are sorted.

On Tuesday evening I was taking photos of the lovely sunset on my mobile phone...

...when I went to get my SLR and the sun room door was caught by a gust of wind and slammed shut on my heel. 

Language ensued. Most intense pain ever. I nearly threw up. Luckily J was home from work and mopped up all the blood and guts. Guuuuuuuuuts.

It's hard to tell since it's swollen so much, but that's my ankle. It's kinda festering a bit now, I should've gone to the hospital, but I couldn't face it, this being the week of 2 consultant appointments, blood tests, 24 hour urine collections an' all.

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On Wednesday I strapped up my foot, put on my big girl panties and went into town to see my girls and got my labret piercing redone so it's healed in time for the wedding. (It had to be removed when I was in hospital having my fallopian tube removed, and by the time I was out of my morphine coma it had healed up).

No, I haven't lost lots of weight, my glasses genuinely are huge :)

Those babies are from Poundland, and they also do them in hot pink, which I shall also be purchasing soon. They shall be funky photography props for the wedding reception shenanigans.

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Yesterday I had a day of rest to be awesome.

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Today I had to go to a different hospital to see my gynae consultant. I have 2 ovarian cysts and one of them has changed in appearance in the last 4 months. I was expecting to be told they would monitor the situation, but instead the Dr said they would have to remove my ovary if the cysts don't disappear in the next 3 months as there is a very small chance they could turn cancerous or be a sign of impending cancer. As there is a fair amount of bleeding and pain going on too, it needs to be addressed even taking the possibility of cancer out of the equation. It would be somewhat miraculous if they disappear on their own.

I was pretty shocked to be honest, as I wasn't prepared to be told I'd need an op. As a woman of a certain age who wants to be a mum there is a level of disappointment in being told I'm losing half of my eggs. I don't believe the NHS freezes eggs so my chances of being a mum are slipping away from me a little. At least it feels that way.

I immediately fell into a slump and just wanted to sleep. The fatigue and misery came over me like a concrete blanket. There have been too many knocks recently, too much wedding stress and now the worry about my mum.

I wrote a little note on Facebook this afternoon saying how I felt and the lovely caring comments came in. People are inherently good.

There have been so many kindnesses shown to me this week - so much care about my mum who a lot of my friends haven't even met, offers of help, and actual help from a couple of lovely people. This week has already been a reaffirmation of the beauty and kindness of the human spirit, but what came into my inbox on Facebook today blew me away. One of my friends offered to be a surrogate mum for me if I ever need it and another offered to be my egg donor. These aren't throw away sentiments, they are offers of putting themselves through pain and suffering (9 months of discomfort in the case of surrogacy!) to help me, should I ever need it.

I am humbled beyond words. 

 Metaphorically speaking I'm stood mouth gaping, lips flapping in the wind and scratching my head trying to take in the enormity of what has been offered to me. To me, little ol' me. Surely I'm not worthy of such kindnesses?!

This is why I say I've been from the Mariana Trench to the summit of Everest. There have been so many highs and lows this week, but overall the sentiment is people are amazing and this blog is definitely ending on a high note thanks to all the wonderful people in my life.

How has your week been?

For the sake of your tickers, I hope it hasn't been quite as hardcore as mine! ;)